Who: 15 million unemployed Americans (nearly one of of every ten) AND an additional 1.1 million marginally and under-employed Americans!
What: A party to celebrate your now structural and systemic unemployment and the fact that the average time of unemployment (34.4 weeks) is now nearly 9 months!
Where: Everywhere and anywhere in the 50 states, though particularly in Michigan (14 percent), Nevada (13.7), California (12.6), Rhode Island (12.5), and Florida (12). You guys know how to party!
When: This party’s been growing for the last 48 months!
You’re invited to feel even worse than you already did about the economy!
Nearly seven million Americans have now been unemployed and looking for work for more than six months, which sets a new record! Surely, that’s something we should celebrate, right? Plus, parties create jobs, or — if done right — help us forget that we don’t have said jobs. Yaaaaaaaay!
There will be cake, clowns (unpaid), and a telecast of the president saying encouraging things. We will provide extra refreshments because we expect 411,000 temporarily employed census takers to join the party at the end of the summer, when their employment ends! Huzzah!
RSVP to the Bureau of Labor Statistics by the first of next month! Let’s see if we can really get this party going.
AMAZING UPDATE! I have now located party favors! Everyone who attends will get a pen-and-ink drawing, done by a printer, of the following amazing piece by noted financial artist “Calculated Risk“:
